CONTEXT

The context can be thought of as the environment in which the pool of pain and coping behaviors exist. Context influences the toxic shame messages we carry in our core and impacts the coping behavior’s ability to improve or worsen. Each system interacts with and affects the other two. The context’s systemic effect on the pool of pain and eruptions lies on a continuum from being toxic on one end to being healthy on the other end. A toxic context stirs up our pool of pain and causes eruptions, just like a volcano. Even in a healthy context, there are changes that need to be made to meet the challenges of the core eruptions. Those changes are not necessarily from something bad to good; instead, they are often about moving away from something that worked in our past, but is causing us problems now. Or, perhaps,  it worked with other children but not this one. The family context often includes a behavioral language for relationship that was learned from prior generations: conflict avoidance, frozen emotions, reacting in anger, or an achievement/performance-based value system are examples of family context.

1. What makes up your context? Where does it sit on the continuum of toxic to healthy? 
2. What specific interactions, patterns, and language within your context trigger your toxic shame? (Remember, with toxic shame, context is not the cause of your distress). 
3. What do you believe you need from your context to support your healing and growth? (Once toxic shame is shared and understood, context can be moved to the healthy end of the continuum). 

By focusing efforts on three systems, we can create lasting and healthy change. Success is not found in one of the systems alone, but rather in doing the work necessary in all three areas. Core represents one of the three systems.