CORE

Think of the core system as your Pool of Pain.  This magma pool is made up of hurt, emptiness, and disconnection that resulted from your lifespan of traumatic experiences. These trauma experiences are not your fault and yet, you are left to carry the toxic shame that drives poor choices and generates eruptions. So what is trauma? Any lived experience you’ve had that is less than nurturing can be considered trauma - big, small, or chronic. Trauma can feel like a distant memory in the past that still holds  an emotional charge today. This emotional charge is called toxic shame.  Where healthy shame says, “I did something wrong,” the toxic shame message is, “something is wrong with me.” Two very different internal messages. What could cause a message like that to exist? An experience of being hurt, rejected, abused, left out, neglected, betrayed, and more, all carry with them an internal message of toxic shame. How is a toxic shame message reinforced?

Unhealed trauma allows toxic shame messages to develop and persist. Feelings of self loathing, insignificance, emptiness, and not belonging. Being excluded or disconnected from healthy peers and mentors. A belief that you are worthless, stuck, and unable to change. These are all examples of underlying messages that fuel the fire leading to an eruption.

1. What is the earliest trauma memory you have? (When you think back, this memory will still hold a degree of emotional charge).
2. What internal meaning or belief did the experience manifest at the time it occurred? In other words, what did the experience lead you to believe about yourself?
3. What current experiences reinforce the toxic shame message you carry?

By focusing efforts on three systems, we can create lasting and healthy change. Success is not found in one of the systems alone, but rather in doing the work necessary in all three areas. Core represents one of the three systems.